


You had me at "this is private property"

by MusicOfYourSoul, WhoCaresAboutANameAnyway



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 00:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4586904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicOfYourSoul/pseuds/MusicOfYourSoul, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoCaresAboutANameAnyway/pseuds/WhoCaresAboutANameAnyway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Am I the only one who can smell the UST in the air?" Scott whined gesturing towards Derek and Stiles bantering or as the pack liked to call it, their foreplay moments.<br/>"Ugh, you know what we should do? We should arrange them a date."<br/>"What a dumb idea, Isaac. Let's do it."</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>As always, things don't go as planed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You had me at "this is private property"

Scott and Stiles had been best friends for years which meant that when Stiles decided to forgo pleasantries over the phone in favor of shouting "Scott, why am I on date with Derek Hale?", the young alpha wasn't even fazed.

"Bad life choices?" Isaac replied in a smug tone at the same time that the alpha answered. "Trashy taste in men "

“You're both hilarious. Did you set this up?”

“You're welcome, dude” He was gonna kill Isaac with his own scarf. 

“Oh my God, Did you really had to choose the same restaurant?”

“I know that you're new to the whole dating thing, but it usually involves eating in the same room, sometimes even at the same table.”

“At the same time even.” 

“I can't even... What did I ever did to you??” He was a good person, why did he had such shitty friends?

“We were just trying to help.” Stiles still can’t understand how is it possible for Scott to be at the same time too good and too dense for this world.

“The UST alone is killing us.” Seriously, what’s even Isaac purpose in life? Apart from, obviously, ruin his own. 

“Shut up! I don't need to see this. I can see her trying to play footsie under the table with Derek... Ugh what is she trying to do?? A footjob??” From his table he could see Derek’s mouth twitching in a smile. Stupid werewolves with their stupid super hearing and their stupid ideas.

“WHAT???” His dear friends Dumb and Dumber shouted in his ear. 

“What do you mean...??” He heard Isaac trying to ask something, but at the view of a familiar face he stopped paying attention.

“I gotta go, Ryan is coming.” 

“Who is Ryan??”

“My date.” And with that the call was over, leaving two very confused werewolves on the other side of the line.

 

“What the hell? I thought that you gave Stiles the invitation."

"I did! I told him to bring a date to the dinner!"

"And you told him to bring Derek, right?" A guilty silence followed the question and Scott whined loudly. "DUDE! You had one job!

 

Okay, so the situation wasn’t ideal. When he found Derek waiting for his table in the only fucking restaurant he shouldn’t be, locking arms with some beautiful curvy blonde, and looking like goddamn sex on tailored suit pants (which is very unfair for him, ok?), his first instinct was, obviously, to get away from that place before Derek noticed his presence. But since life is unfair and he probably pissed off some higher power, right when he was about to escape like a ninja, he hit a glass door that he swears it wasn’t there two minutes ago. It wasn’t his fault. It was the restaurant’s staff that kept the glass doors too clean. 

"Stiles?" Well, fuck him. 

“Heeeeeey! What a weird coincidence!”

“What…? Are you okay? Is that…?”

"It's okay, it's just blood." It's not that hybrid red wolfsbane that me and Deaton were working on, it's what really meant and Derek seemed to catch on. His girlfriend didn’t.

"Just blood?? What do you...?"

“I mean, it could have been chocolate, it'd be harder to wash out.” He put on his most scarring fake smile.

“Isn't he hilarious?” Stiles wasn’t sure if the girl was playing dumb or was really naive. 

The waitress lead them to their table while he stood there, watching them order some fancy wine and making heart eyes to each other -okay, she made heart eyes, he just looked a bit uncomfortable- and waiting for a guy who he didn’t even liked that much. 

"How's been your day?" Right. Ryan. He should've been focusing on him and not on the guy who he had got a crush for the last couple of years and who was two tables away from him. 

"Well, today I fought a nest of Harpies and I won with the power or sarcasm and trash-talk." 

"Stiles! I keep telling you that is not nice of you to call Mrs. Benson harpie." 

"It may not be nice but it's scientifically accurate." Ryan was cute and all. And he was pretty hot too, but he was too infuriatingly good for Stiles’ taste. For Stiles to like you, you had to be at least a level 2 of asshole (with the only exception of I-cure-puppies-for-a-living-and-eat-rainbows-for-breakfast aka Scott), and Ryan was like a 0.25 level of asshole, tops. The worst thing the guy had ever done in his life was going to the station for five days in a row to report the most bullshit things so he could talk to Stiles (until Parrish, who was a level 4 of asshole, told him to either ask Stiles out or stop wasting everyone’s time). 

He was telling him something about his morning run, but Stiles wasn’t exactly paying attention (which, yeah, he knew it was rude, but come on, it couldn’t be healthy to be that interested in jogging. Sure, it keeps you in good shape, but god, at what cost?). He found himself being more focused on the conversation happening between Derek and Blonde And Perfect. 

“So... Why did you leave your previous job?"

“‘Because my boss was an evil fairy’. No, right, you can’t tell her that. Although I’d tell her how you smashed his face with a $1000 chair. That was pretty awesome.” He knew Derek had heard him because he was trying to hide his smile on his glass of wine.

"I had issues." 

"What kind of issues?" 

"Anger issues." Stiles choked on his drink, and Derek looked like he was high-fiving himself. 

“You can’t just tell her that! She’ll think you’re some kind of psychopath, or worse, some Christian Grey wannabe.”

“What are you murmuring, Stiles?” Ryan was staring at him. He couldn’t check it, but he could’ve sworn that he heard Derek’s laughing. 

“Oh. Nothing. Just… keep telling me the… thing that happened this morning.”

“I was telling you about the student I had to send to detention… this afternoon.”

“Yes. That’s what I meant. Sometimes I get confused with the concepts.” 

“Okay… Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Peachy. So, did you finish the James Patterson book you were reading?” That would keep him talking for a while, because for some reason Ryan was obsessed with James Patterson, so Stiles could spy Derek for a moment. 

"I mean, we're not the same people we were back in high school. People change." Derek made a face at that, and she pressed the issue. "Why the face? You don't think people can change?"

"I think that pain changes people, Brenda." _Who knew? Derek Hale could pull off diplomacy and angst in the same sentence. Shocker_ , Stiles thought.

“...and Tommy is still trying to bring Jack down because…” Ryan kept talking non-stop, which was a weird feeling for Stiles because he was the one supposed to be the chatty one.

“Oh my God, shut it and eat your sad excuse for a burger. Seriously, what kind of morally corrupt mind eats tofu burgers?” He barely moved his mouth, but this time he knew for sure Derek had snorted. 

"Dang, we should have got high tonight." Ryan suddenly interrupted his own monologue. 

"Do you really think that is wise offer drugs to the Sheriff kid?"

"I meant high in the height sense. You know for the meteor rain tonight."

“Yes, of course! I was totally kidding. Gotcha! I knew that”. He could heard Derek trying not to laugh too hard (and failing miserably because, hello, he could heard him) “Oh shut up, who uses 'dang' in real life?" 

His date kept talking about the meteor rain and the metaphorical implications and something else Stiles didn’t catch up completely. "If I pretend to have a heart attack maybe things would spice up a bit... Mmm nah, Mr little miss sunshine here would perform a RCP and then he'd lecture me for my unhealthy eating habits... Again."

And then Derek lost his shit. Which was very bad timing because apparently Brenda was talking about the sad sad story of her dead grandma and, obviously,got really mad when he started laughing like a maniac.

“I can’t believe you, Derek Hale! I thought age would have made you more sensitive, but I was so wrong. I knew this was a mistake!” Stiles thanked mentally whoever made the table arrangements so Ryan was with his back towards them.

“So,if we wanna get on time to see the meteors we should probably get going”.

“Yey!” Fuck. He needed to get out of there soon. 

And then his knight in a sexy green dress shirt came to rescue him "Hi, I uh..."

"We don't want dessert, just the check, thank you." Ryan didn’t even looked up at him.

"I. Am. Not. A. Waiter." Derek gave him the my-eyebrows-are-angry face.

"Ohh sorry, then wha..."

He interrupted him “Stiles, I'm so sorry, my sister tried to eat your dog, you need to come with me. Now."

"... Was that a metaphor?" Ryan looked at him with confusion in his eyes.

"... I don't think so." Just as they were leaving Derek said loud enough for Ryan to hear.

"Oh and, Stiles, I already got the ointment for that rash down there." Of course he would say that. Because Derek was a level 10 asshole.

"Oh my God I don't have..." His answer was cut short by the ding that the bell made when the restaurant door opened and closed after them.

"Really Derek?? That's the best excuse you could came up with?"

"The other one was that Scott and Allison went on a blind date separately but ended up sitting together. But that'd show the codependency issues of our pack."

"I'm not codepen.."

"If you live-message each other dates it's codependency."

"Ugh, you're such a drama queen, we only did it twice."

He rolled his eyes and growled, which for any other human being would’ve been incomprehensible, but after all those years Stiles was used to decipher every gesture and noise he made. He actually had them classified on a list in his head. And that one meant “You’re an idiot, get in the car”.

“Can I ask you something? Why did you accept to go out with him?”

“Honestly? Because I started to lying to him by saying the truth and it was fun, 'cause he just thought that I was too sarcastic. It felt nice to have someone to tell about my day.”   
He was about to get into the Jeep when he felt a strong hand turn him around “I know we spent most of our time together, but you can always tell me about your day.” His voice was practically a whisper and he looked so sincere Stiles basically melted. He always thought kissing Derek would be hard, that it would require all of his bravery. But after that, it felt like the natural thing to do.

And holy shit, he loved kissing Derek. It was sweet and rough and hot and his beard scraped and his lips were soft and he held him like he was the most precious thing and he wanted to do nothing else in his life than kiss Derek Hale.

They kissed for a minute, or thirty or the whole night, he isn’t even sure. They looked at each other for a second before bursting into laughter. They laughed because years of tension are gone, or maybe because of how absurd the night had been or maybe because they’re simply happy. 

“So... Why did you accept to go out with her?”

“Is going to sound petty after that grandiloquent speech…”

“Excuse you…”

“I was trying to sabotage your date... But you did that by yourself.”

“If I weren't so turned on right now I'd be offended.” And Stiles added a new gesture to the mental list of ‘Derek’s facial expressions’, the one that said “you’re an idiot. Kiss me”.


End file.
